Confused and betrayed! That’s how I felt the last time I had a fight with my (ex) girlfriend. We had been so close and in love. But over time we had drifted apart. (Or perhaps we had grown apart as we each grew into stepping onto our new path as we each did our own inner work.) Things didn’t mesh like they used to. There was tension in the household as expectations (both voiced and unvoiced) did not get met. Eventually it just blew.
There was a comment that started it…that lit the fuse. There actually was a space between when the fuse was lit and when the explosion occurred. It was that moment of confusion, and disbelief…when your mind goes from realizing what was said…to “but you love me – how could you say THAT?!?!” But, unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there. It rolls right on to, “Oh, hell no! I’m not going to let THAT go unanswered!” and you watch as the spark disappears into the powder keg right before it blows. You know what’s next. You wish it weren’t the case…and then it happens. The words just flow…the rational brain is no longer engaged…and those hurtful words just flow. The ones that you would never consciously say from that place of calm, centered, rationality. But you are no longer there. You’ve been triggered and you respond to being hurt…or retaliate!
At one time or another, we’ve all been there, done that (on BOTH sides) and have no desire what-so-ever for the T-Shirt! But what do you do about it now? In the aftermath… when you find yourself wandering in that minefield of hurt feelings and broken dreams.
You can try to say “you are sorry” but somehow, “sorry” just doesn’t cut it. You can try to explain, but it’s likely to fall on deaf ears. The damage is done.
So now what? Continue reading
Sometimes disagreements with friends or loved ones get out of hand and escalate into full blow fights or shouting matches. Once the damage is done, it is sometimes difficult to reconnect and reengage in the relationship. Not only are all of the things we’ve said and done during the fight still hanging in the air between us – but the embarrassment about our behavior during the fight still echos in our mind.
While it might take some time to attempt to repair the damage done to the relationship, if it can be salvaged at all, the best first step is to do some tapping and release the emotional upset around it.
Here is a Tap-Along video I made for you that shows how I would start to address a situation like this…
In this case especially, there is likely much more tapping to be done to really get through it. Invest the time in yourself (even if you think you’re done with the relationship!) and release even more of the emotional upset by Continue reading
Being treated unfairly, especially at work, can really rattle your confidence and cause you to question what you consider to be “true” about yourself and your work environment. I sure wish I had known about the emotional relief that is available through tapping earlier in my career! I’d have used it a lot, especially those times when circumstances rattled by self-confidence and self-worth!
Years ago, when I was working for a high-tech company, I had a run in with “Jon” the manager of another department. I was working on a project that had been approved by my manager and I was rather proud of the progress I had made and the results I was generating. I chose to share with “Jon” what I felt to be my latest win on the project because I was feeling pretty proud of the way it was going.
His response was to “cut me off at the knees” by telling me Continue reading
There have been a number of times in my life when I’ve felt that I was treated unfairly, dismissed, or just plain blown-off by someone. That can lead to not only hurt feelings, but some serious stuck attention on the incident, as well as damage to one’s self-esteem and self-worth. Join me by tapping along with me in this video for releasing the upset around being treated unfairly.
And make sure you take the next step and Continue reading
Sometimes in life it’s the little things that can really get to you. I know I’ve had those days when it seems like the “little things” do their best to try and show up all at once so they can add to the pile of annoyances and ruin your day.
The best thing we can do, in order to live a peaceful and happy life, is to exterminate these little upsets by tapping them out of existence as soon as they happen!
Of course we could do the same thing we have usually done in the past – just letting them hop onto that pile of “little things” that seem like they are really hardly annoying enough to bother with. They’ll be fine there…really…waiting for us to take the time to tap on them, all the while building up and festering as part of the pile
Sometimes we may even try to take the viewpoint that we are “bigger than that” and perhaps even “more evolved” on our spiritual path than to really allow these “minor little annoyances” to bother us. They are just a normal part of life after all!
I don’t know about you, but I prefer to live an extraordinary life rather than just a “normal” one. So when I find these “annoying little friends” showing up in my day, I take the time to exterminate them with a few moments worth of tapping.
The challenge, of course, is to figure out what to say while you’re tapping, particularly if you’re relatively new to tapping. Because they are “annoying little things” in the grand scheme of things, the Tap And Bitch technique is a perfect match for these situations.
You can start with a setup something like this (while tapping on the Karate Chop Spot): Continue reading
Sometimes it is the little things that get to you the most, because they seem to all show up at the same time and do their best to ruin your day. Here is a Tap-Along Video that I created that represents one of those nasty little things that can get under your skin and fester for the whole day. Tap-Along with me as I tap for releasing the upset around “The Jerk Who Cut You Off In Traffic!”
Be sure to complete the next step too in order to Continue reading